When Anzu Snaps
by Hikaru Hayashi
Summary: Anzu Mazaki hardly ever blows a fuse. So what happens when she finally goes haywire...? Pandemonium and Chaos! R&R, Rated for randomness, violence and whatnot...[IT'S FINISHED]
1. The Return of Noah

By Hikaru Hayashi

Story From Yu-Gi-Oh!

Okay! I was inspired by silver-dagger-113 to rewrite this story! So I will!!

For my new fans, this is a story that was taken down a few months ago because of script dialogue. (Cursed Administration) It was my first popular fic, so when it was tagged off the site, I was angry. It was also the first fic I had taken down.

However, recently, I read the re-written version of silver-dagger-113's fic, _Marik's Boring Day_, which, the author says, has been taken down repetitively about four times for the same reason. And that inspired me to re-write this one! Thank you, silver-dagger-113, for inspiring me never to give up! This fic is dedicated to you!

Disclaimer note: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

So now, without further ado, the re-written version of "When Anzu Snaps"!!

When Anzu Snaps... Chapter 1: The Return of Noah 

"Anzu Snaps!"

It was your average Saturday night at the Kaiba Mansion. It was around 11:55 at night and, as usual, young Mokuba had stayed up way past his bedtime.

"But, Seto!" Mokuba complained as he jumped up and down on his brother's bed. "I'm not tired!"

Seto, who was sitting at his desk reading an interesting novel, sighed as he muttered, "Darnit, Mokuba, it was probably the coffee. What have I told you about drinking coffee before bedtime! Now, good night."

Mokuba refused to give up. "But, Seto!"

At this, Seto stood up, faced Mokuba with a disapproving glare, and shouted, "Don't argue with me! _I am your brother!!_"

Mokuba gasped. "_Nooooooooooo!" _he screamed. Then he thought for a second. "Oh, wait, that's right...oh well. Good night, Nii-sama!"

"Good night, Mokuba," Seto said as he sat back down to finish reading his book.

Mokuba left his brother's room and went to his own, or so Seto thought. _Heh, Nii-sama thinks I surrendered. Well, he's got another think commin'! _Mokuba stood outside the door to his brother's room.

Seto had picked up his book and continued reading, when he heard a strange voice: "Hello again, Seto! It's been so long. Have you missed me?"

Seto thought it was Mokuba playing a prank on him. "Dang it Mokuba!" he shouted. "I told you to go to bed!" He sprang out of his chair once again and turned around to see the true owner of the voice: Noah.

"Good evening...Brother!" Noah said, evilly. "Ha! Aha ha ha hah!"

Seto stumbled backward. "Ah...it's...it's...Noah...!"

Noah smiled slyly. "I'm going to finish what we started, Seto!" he said, with pure malice in his voice. "VENGEANCE!!"

Noah pushed Seto off of his second story balcony...and into the swimming pool!

"_Ahhhhhgggghhh!!!!" _Seto screamed as he fell. He hit the water with a big "splash".

"Aha ha ha ha hah!" Noah laughed malevolently. "Nobody can stop me now!"

Mokuba, who had been standing at the door the whole time, ran to the balcony. "Nii-sama!!" he shouted.

"Hello my dear little brother Mokuba!" Noah said in the same evil tone as before. "Did you miss me?"

Mokuba, who had always been a little slow, turned around to find himself staring face to face with Noah. "Ahh! Noah!" he shouted.

"Fool!" Noah shouted as he walked toward poor shivering Moki. "Go join your brother!!" Noah prepared to push Mokuba off of the second story balcony and into the swimming pool when Mokuba did something quite unexpected...he jumped!

"_Ahhhhhhhh! It's Nooooooaaaaaahhh!" _Mokuba screamed as he leapt from the second story balcony, landing in the pool with a little "splash".

Noah held up two fingers, signaling that he was the glorious victor. "Ha hah! Victory is mine!"

Meanwhile, Yugi Mutoh, who had appeared from nowhere, ran to the balcony. "Kaiba! Mokuba! Are you all right?!" he called.

"Well, well..." Noah said, amused. "We meet again, Yugi Mutoh!"

Yugi turns his head. "Noah! What did you do to them?!" he shouted angrily, as angry as Yugi gets.

"Ah, who knows?" Noah sighed in mock innocence. Then, his glare of vengeance appeared. "Well, if you really want to know..._I'll show you!" _With this, Noah charged at Yugi, knocking him off of the second story balcony and into the swimming pool!

"_Ahhhhhhhhh!" _Yugi screamed, flailing his arms while falling. He hit the water with a medium sized "splash".

Noah scoffed. "Hmph! Simpleton."

Yami, Yugi's counterpart and spirit from his Millennium Puzzle, had appeared from nowhere and ran to the balcony. "_No! Yugi!!" _

Noah, who had become bored, said, "I take it you are Yugi Mutoh's counterpart, Yami. How amusing."

"NOAH!!" Yami shouted. "What have you done to him?! What have you done to my aibou?"

Noah just cackled. "Eh he he he he heh!!"

Yami's anger had reached it's boiling point. He started for Noah. "Ooh! Why, I oughta—Oh!" He said, tripping over his feet and flipping off of the second story balcony and into the swimming pool!

"_Whoa! Ahhhhhhhhhh!" _Yami screamed as he fell. He hit the water head first with a huge splash.

Noah howled. "Wooo hoooo! Too Funny! The baka tripped over his own feet! Hah! Oh, how hilarious! Whoooh! Omigod...Oh! That was _**classic**!! _Aha ha ha ha hah!!"

At this point, Anzu Mazaki, the only female in the main group, and not very bright at that, appeared from nowhere and ran to the balcony dramatically. _"NOOOOOOO! YAMI!! YUGI!!!"_

Noah had caught his breath from laughing. "Whoo! Ah...well, now, if it isn't little Tea!"

Anzu swirled around, pointed a finger at Noah, and shouted, "Noah! You should be ashamed of yourself! You are going to pay for what you did to my friends! Don't you realize you could've killed them? Don't you realize how priceless friendship is?..." Anzu could not be shut up, now that she had gone into one of her lame friendship rants.

After a few minutes, Noah became bored with picking his nose and scratching his armpits. "Darn it all, I should just finish you off now!" he shouted, annoyed.

"NO!" Anzu shouted in retaliation. "I'm not finished! You WILL sit here and you WILL listen!"

"_No! I won't!" _Noah shouted as he leapt at Anzu. He reached an arm out at her, aiming to grab her. It looked like it was all over for poor Anzu-chan.

Suddenly, Anzu felt a fire she'd never felt before—the fire of rage. She grabbed Noah's arm, and flung him off of the second story balcony...and into the swimming pool!!

"Hey!" Noah shouted while falling. "Nooooooooooo!" He hit the water with a Big-Kahuna-Tidal-Wave "splash".

Meanwhile, Noah's other poor victims were pulling themselves from the water.

"Whew..." Mokuba said, exhaustedly. "That's the last time **I** go swimming for a while! Is everyone all right? Yugi? Nii-sama?"

Yugi and Yami got out of the pool carrying Seto, who had just barely escaped drowning.

"Cough! Cough! Gasp! Oooh...I...I thought I was a goner..." Seto stammered weakly. (A/N: For those who have also read Kokoro no Seto, this might seem familiar...I guess I have an obsession with Seto drowning! Don't know why, but I do! So there!)

Yugi plopped onto the ground. "Whew! Whoa. What a rush. Talk about déjà vu!"

_Yami replied, "You can say **that** again." _

As if time had rewound itself, Yugi repeated, "Whew! Whoa. What a rush. Talk about déjà vu!" 

Yami replied, "You can say **that** again."

"Hey!" Mokuba said. "Yugi, Yami, cut it out! Quit playing around!"

Just then, Noah floated to the surface. "Gaarrrrgggllleeeee! Ptui! Ack! Darn you Tea!" he shouted while waving a fist at the balcony. "Why does this pool have to be so deep," he muttered while attempting to swim to the stairs to climb out.

Yugi and crew were waiting at the stairs, ready to pounce on Noah, when...

_Bang! Bang! Bang! _Three gunshots came from nowhere, all aimed at Noah.

"_Holy crap!!" _Noah shouted, wide-eyed, as three bullets came flying at him. "Ah!" he gasped, barely dodging all three bullets.

Yugi and Yami stared.

Everyone looked up towards the balcony, hoping to find out where the shots came from. What they saw traumatized them for life.

Anzu, the usually non-violent type, was standing on the balcony wielding a .44. _"Eat hot steaming lead, Noah!!!!!" _she shouted, her voice filled with pure wrath.

Everyone looked up at Anzu with wide eyes and blank stares. Their mouths were hanging open.

Anzu fired her rifle again, with perfect aim. The bullet, having been shot with perfect accuracy, embedded itself in Noah's chest.

Noah gasped as the shock from the bullet knocked him into the swimming pool.

Tears came to Yugi's eyes. _"Anzu...toshte...?" _he gasped.

Anzu was suddenly overcome by her newfound emotion of anger. She slowly lowered her rifle and lowered her head, her bangs covering her eyes. She cackled softly, "...Nya ha."

The gang stared at her.

She laughed again. "...Nya ha!" She then threw her head back and howled. "NYA AHA HA HA HAAAAAH!!!!"

No one could believe what they were hearing. No one could believe what they were seeing. It seemed too good to be true. It couldn't be happening. And yet, it was. The innocent, naïve, pacifist high school girl had killed someone out of pure hatred and rage. Anzu Mazaki had snapped.

"HIIIYAAAHH!" Anzu shrieked as she jumped from the balcony, over the gate, and into the town to run amuck.

Yugi and Yami stand and watch her. A minute later, Yami said, "We must go after her, Aibou! She's dangerous now! There's no telling **what** she may do!"

"Yes...you're right, Yami," Yugi replied while wiping the tears from his eyes with his jacket sleeve. "Let's go!"

The hikari and his yami chased after the disturbed girl.

Meanwhile, Seto, finally able to get to his feet after nearly drowning, walks over the spot where Noah had fallen. "Noah?" he asked.

Noah was floating in the water, now red from blood. His eyes were rolled back in their sockets and he was completely motionless. Noah Kaiba was definitely dead.

"Hah! Well!" Seto said, clearly amused. "I didn't think Anzu had it in her! She's just done my job for me! Ha ha, Noah! You're dead! You thought you could kill me with your little trick, but now it's over! You're through! Gone! Washed up! Ah, I am going to savor the moment of your demise for the rest of my life! Mwa ha ha ha hah!!!!!"

Mokuba sighed. "Typical Nii-sama...guess this means he's feeling better..."

And so...Noah Kaiba is dead, his step-brother Seto laughs in his face, Mokuba sighs, regretting that his brother became a total jerk, and Yugi and Yami chase after a deranged Anzu Mazaki!!

End Chapter One!!

That's it! I hope to have the next chapter up soon...ah the script version was much funnier, but hope you still like it! Ja ne!


	2. Anzu, the Female Battousai

By Hikaru Hayashi

Hey there! I got three reviews, which is more than what I was expecting!

To Lightning-Dono and Master Ruby: There are different ways of spelling Yugi's last name, I've seen it spelled 5 different ways: Muto, Moto, Mouto, Mutou, and Mutoh. I like the last spelling because it looks cooler!

Any who...on with the madness!

Disclaimer note: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or Rurouni Kenshin (You'll see...)

Let the madness begin!

Chapter 2: Anzu Mazaki, the Female _Battousai_

Where we last left off, it was a Saturday night. Anzu Mazaki had killed Noah Kaiba and went on a mad rampage. Now, Yugi and Crew must find a way to stop her, or they might not live to see Sunday morning!! While Yugi and Yami went on to stop her, Seto and Mokuba had stayed behind.

"Seto," Mokuba began, "aren't we going to help Yugi and Yami stop Anzu?"

Seto stared at his younger brother. "No...why?"

"Well," Mokuba said, "she might come back and try to kill **you** next, Nii-sama!"

Seto was quiet. Then he said, "I guess you have a point, but why would stupid naïve Anzu waste her time and effort killing **me**?"

Mokuba started shivering from fear. "If she wanted to take over the world, she might even want to take over KaibaCorp!"

Seto felt his heart stop. "Uh..." he moaned as a disturbing vision came to him...

Seto's Vision

Seto was sitting in his office, hidden under his desk. It was daybreak. The city of Domino looked like a battlefield. Seto's desk was turned over, acting as a barricade. Suddenly, someone was banging on the door.

_Pound! Pound! _"COME OUT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN, SETO KAIBA!!!" came Anzu's voice.

Seto poked his head over his desk. "Listen, Anzu!" he shouted to her, sweat-dropping. "I'm sure we can talk this over like civilized people!! Y'know, I always did think you were kinda cute...!!"

The door came crashing down. Anzu stood in the doorway, decked out in armor and wielding heavy artillery. She pulled out a rocket launcher. "THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE FOR YOU, KAIBA! You're toast, and KaibaCorp belongs to me!! _**DIE!!!**"_ With this she fired.

Seto screamed as rockets came flying at him. _"Ahhhhhgggggghhh!!"_

End of Vision

"_Ahhhggghh! No! Anzu, stop!!"_ Seto shouted.

"Um, are you okay, Nii-sama?" Mokuba asked.

Seto turned to Mokuba and shouted, "What the heck are we waiting for, Mokuba?! We must crush Anzu!" With this, he ran off. "Anzu Mazaki! I will send you into oblivion, so help me god!!!! _Nobody takes over **my **company!!!!"_

Mokuba snickered as he followed his older brother. "Ha hah. That one gets him every time...!"

**Meanwhile...! **

Anzu had officially become a madwoman. As she fired rifle shots onto an innocent civilian, she shrieked, "Nya ha ha ha haaah! NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!"

Yugi and Yami appeared at the scene. "We must stop her, Yami!" Yugi said, nerve-wrecked. "She could do something even more terrible than kill a few innocent people!!"

Yami, however, stayed calm. "Anzu is usually not like this, Aibou," he said. "Perhaps she is disturbed and needs us to talk with her."

"Or...!" Yugi began, "maybe she's still being controlled by Marik!!"

Anzu, who had pulled a rocket launcher out of nowhere, aimed and shouted, "Where are you, you dirtbag I will blast you to kingdom come so help me god!!! _COME OUT AND FIGHT ME, MALIK!!!!" _

Yugi and Yami stood, dumbfounded.

"Who in the blazes is 'Malik'?" Yugi asked.

Yami looked thoughtful. "I think I know..." he muttered.

Just then, Mokuba had appeared from nowhere wearing makeshift trash can armor. "Yugi!" he shouted. "Yami! We've come to help!!"

Yami couldn't help cracking up. With a silly look, he asked, "Who is **'we'**, Mokuba?!"

"Huh?" Mokuba looked around. Buildings were collapsing. People were screaming. Anzu was firing her rocket launcher as though it were a toy while shouting, _"Come fight me, Malik you coward!! Hiii-yaaa!!" _But Mokuba did not pay this any mind. He only knew one thing—he could not find his brother. "WHAT THE HEY, SETO!!!" he shouted while storming off angrily.

Yugi looked confused. "What was that?" he asked.

Yami shook his head. "No freaking clue."

Suddenly, a voice from nowhere spoke to Yami: "Well, well! We meet again, 'Pharaoh'!!"

As a sharp reflex, Yami shouts "MARIK!" and spins around to find someone who remotely looks like him, but not quite. "Uh...who are you?"

"I AM Marik!" said the mysterious person. "Well, almost. Heh ha hah. I am his 'yami'. You may call me...Malik!!"

Anzu swirled around. "AHA!" she shouted. "I'VE FOUND YOU, YOU NO GOOD SON OF A GUN!!! DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!" She fired grenades at Malik, knocking him off of the bridge they were standing on, suspended 1500 feet above water.

"_Ahh!" _Malik shouted, swallowing water. _"Help me! I can't swim! Ahhhgguuurrrgglllllee..." _

Yugi, Yami, and Mokuba, who was in the process of storming away like the little kid he is, stared at the drowning Malik, then back at Anzu, who was off on her rampage again. (A/N: ... ...Okay! So I have an odd fascination with people who can't swim!! Or even remotely look like it!)

Mokuba mutters, "Whoa...holy 'Battousai'...!"

Yugi replies, "You can say **that** again."

Yami's head was beginning to smart with all of the loud noises: Buildings toppling over, stuff exploding, Anzu laughing maniacally, and a particularly noticeable "ka-bang". Right after this explosion, Seto, from nowhere, shouts, _"What the heck! That was my limo!!!!"_

Yami, nearly about to collapse from dizziness, puts his hand on his forehead and wearily says, "Oooooh...I'm dizzy..."

Yugi nodded. "Me too."

Yami started to walk away. "I need a drink..." he muttered. "I need sake..."

So, as Anzu, the female Battousai, continues her mad rampage through Domino City, Yami goes to chill in a bar!!

End Chapter Two!!

That's all, peeps! Note: Seto's vision was not in the original chapter. Oops...my mistake. I remembered I might have to change the rating because of the next chapter...which might be one of my personal favorites! Yep! The next chapter's a scream! Ja ne!


	3. Three Yamis in a Bar

By Hikaru Hayashi

Hey, I'm back with more randomness. I must say, this chapter might be my personal fave.! I think this chapter's a gas! And you'll see why I have to change the rating. Anyway...

Disclaimer note: I don't own anything in this fic. I do not own Yugi Mutoh, Anzu Mazaki, Seto Kaiba, or anyone from Yu-Gi-Oh! And I do not own the name "Battousai", that belongs to Rurouni Kenshin, that it does!

Another note: I don't wish to confuse anyone, so here's a note for this chapter.

-Ryou's yami is "Bakura"

-Yugi's yami is "Yami" (duh...)

-Marik's yami is "Malik"

On with the madness!!

Chapter 3: Three Yamis in a Bar 

Yami, after nearly having a brain meltdown watching Anzu-Battousai rampage Domino City, walked into a bar and sat down.

Little did he know, Bakura decided to dump his hikari for a night on the town, and just happened to be in the same bar. He sat at a table near Yami.

About ten minutes after that, Malik, who had just escaped a near death experience, walked into the same bar and sat a table near Bakura. The three yamis were oblivious to each other's existence.

So, Yami decides to order a drink. He goes up to the counter.

A few minutes later, Bakura is ready to order his drink. He walks up to the counter, where he notices Yami, who, by this point, is notices Bakura's existence as well.

Yami stared blankly at the white haired thief, then hiccups and says, "So what the heck are **you** doing here?"

Bakura, stunned by this, and obviously offended, replied, "I was just about to ask **you** the same thing!" He picks up his glass.

Yami, holding his glass, sighed and muttered, "Look, man. _Hiccup!_ I am not in the mood right now, you hear me? _Hiccup!_ Now, you just leave me alone, and all will be fine. Alright?"

Bakura puts his glass up to his face. "Hai," he responds, "as long as you don't bug me either."

Yami stared at his fellow yami for a while. Then he muttered, "Yah, okay. _Hiccup! _ Whatever." He sipped his glass.

Bakura also sipped his glass. "Feh!" he grunted.

Ten minutes later, Malik had finally decided what he wanted and was ready to order his drink. He walked over to the counter, where notices Bakura, not too happy to see him, and Yami, also a bit unhappy to see him (and rather drunk...)

Bakura slammed his glass onto the counter and shouted, "What are you doing here Marik!!"

The bartender whispered, "Inside voices please..."

Of course, this rule obviously didn't apply to the drunken Pharaoh, who turned his head, hiccupped, and shouted, _"Marik!!! (Hiccup!) Flip off!!!!" _

This angered Malik. "I told you, you imbecile of a Pharaoh!" he shouted. "I'm **Malik**!! And, by Ra, you have some gall telling me to flip off!!!!"

Bakura felt a bit sorry for the both of them, yet there was that little flicker inside of him that wanted to beat that double-crossing cape-wearing freak named Malik into the ground. "Please forgive Yami," he started. "I believe he's had one glass too many. Anywho, I suggest you leave before this gets ugly."

Malik stood up, faced Bakura and said hotly, "Make me."

At this, Yami tried to stand up, but swaggered. "That..." he started, "..._hiccup! _was the last straw!" He tries to assault Malik. "You _hiccup! _You no good sonova—"

Bakura jumped up and attempted to restrain Yami. "You! Don't fight him!"

"Neh, heh heh...yes..." Malik cackled. "Don't fight me!"

The thief glared at Malik and declared boldly, "**I **want first crack at him!! This idiot owes me big!!"

"Money?" the bartender asked curiously while cleaning a glass.

Bakura turned his head at the bartender and snapped, "This doesn't concern you, foolish mortal!!"

The bartender went back to his own business. "I'll shut up..." he muttered.

Another dude standing behind the counter brought in Malik's drink.

"Hmph! Well," Malik started as he sat down. "It looks like I'll have to postpone your beating until I'm done with my drink." He sipped his glass.

However, Yami wasn't going to stand for that. "Oh, no you don't! _Hiccup!" _he said. "You won't get a way **that** easily! _Hiccup!! _C'mon and fight me, you coward!!!! _Hiccup!!" _

Bakura, on the other hand, decided to throw in the towel for the moment. He picked up his glass and sighed, "Yami, give it a rest..."

Yami fell backward onto his seat. _"Grrrr!!" _ he growled. He picked up his fifteenth drink and downed the entire thing.

**Two Hours Later! **

The three yamis walk out of the bar.

Bakura, who was now pretty drunk, said, "Gee, Malik! _Hiccup! _I didn't know you were so cool!"

The tomb keeper's yami, also pretty drunk, just cackled and replied, "Ah, yes. I am very talented indeed. **BUUUUUUURRRRRP!!**"

Yami, probably the most drunk out of the three and swaggering while he walked, laughed. "Aha ha ha! _Hiccup!! _Nice one!!"

"Thanks," Malik replied. Then, he got an idea. "Hey, guys, why don't we all crash at my place for a while and party until sunrise!"

"Woo-hoo!!" shouted Yami. "Yeah! _(hiccup_!) _Party at Malik's!!!" _He tripped over his feet.

Bakura caught Yami before he reached the ground. Then turned to Malik and said, "I don't know. I kinda promised Ryou I'd help him watch his baby cousin. That girl's a brat y'know---what time is it?"

"Um-hmm..." Malik grunted as he looked at his watch. "It's 3:45 a.m."

"Okay!" Bakura shouted. "Party until sunrise!!"

Yami, trying to stand up, shouted, "Woo!! _Hiccup!! _ _Party down!! _Bring on the chicks and booze!! _Hiccup!!" _

"Um, Yami," Bakura started, "I don't think you can handle anymore. You're drunk enough."

"But chicks is not a prob!" Malik said. "See, look! There's one!"

The three drunk yamis looked at the "chick" who had appeared from nowhere and just happened to be blocking their way. She was wearing armor and wielding a machine gun and lasers. It was none other then Anzu-Battousai. (Dum dum duuuuuuuum!!)

"MALIK!!" she shouted. "I THOUGHT I HAD KILLED YOU, YOU SCUM!!"

Malik stared at her. He then hiccupped and answered, "You thought wrong, baka girl!"

Anzu-Battousai then pulled out her trademark rocket launcher and aimed at Malik. "THAT'S IT!!" she shouted. "YOU ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO DIE TODAY, MALIK!"

Malik foolishly took on this challenge, drunkenly putting up his fists. "Okay!" he said. "_Hiccup. _Bring it on!"

BAM. Faster than anyone could have seen it coming, a rocket flew from Anzu-Battousai's cannon, taking off Malik's head.

The headless Malik stood up for about 5 seconds, then fell over.

Bakura and Yami screamed. _"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" _

Yami moaned. "Oooooh..." He collapsed.

Bakura caught him. "Yami!" he shouted. "Are you alright?"

The Pharoah didn't respond. He was out cold.

"Garah...he's fainted..." Bakura grumbled.

"YES!" Anzu-Battousai shouted in victory. "ANCIENT HISTORY! NYA HA HA HAH!!"

Bakura looked up at Anzu-Battousai. "Anzu...why?" he asked. "Why did you kill Malik?"

Anzu-Battousai just cracked up laughing. "Smmnnh! Nya ha. NYA AHA HA HA HA HA HAH!!!"

She's laughing?! Bakura thought, annoyed. Oh, come on! That is cold, Anzu!! 

Anzu-Battousai runs off, laughing maniacally. More buildings collapse. People scream. Suddenly, Seto, from nowhere, shouts, _"What the heck! Leave my fricking limo alone, Anzu!!!!" _A minute later, a loud "ka-boom" is heard...Seto's limo. _"Argh!!" _shouts a frustrated Seto Kaiba.

Bakura hiccups. "Oh..." he moans. Then he begins to cry.

Yami lies on the ground unconscious.

And so, Malik is dead and possibly the only person who can stop Anzu-Battousai (but doesn't know it yet) has fallen down drunk. Can anyone save us now?! (Dun dun duuuuuuuuun!!!)

End Chapter Three!!

The script version of this chapter was a bit funnier, but I added some things to this one too so it balances out (I guess.) But how was it? Tell me in your review. Ja ne!


	4. A Futile Attempt

By Hikaru Hayashi

Well, Ruby...I consider you a good friend, even though I don't really know who you are, so you can criticize me if you think it will help, I was just stating that the last chapter was one of my faves, simply because it made no sense at all. If it wasn't as good as the others, then I'm sorry (Blasted Administration!! The script version was much funnier...)

I hope you think this chapter is better!

Also, I'm sorry about the "Battousai" mix-up, but like I said before, I don't know much Japanese, so how am I s'posed to know what "Battousai" really means...would it bug you if I kept the name the same? That's the way it was in my original fic, and I want it to be as close to the original as possible.

Disclaimer note: I own N-O-T-H-I-N-G!!!

Now on with the madness!!

Chapter 4: A Futile Attempt 

Where we last left off...Malik's head has been blown off by Anzu-Battousai's infamous rocket launcher, and Yami has fallen down drunk. Now Bakura wishes to avenge Malik, but he has to bring Yami to his senses first! Meanwhile, Anzu-Battousai has gone on a killing spree!

Bakura shook Yami, trying to arouse him. "C'mon, Yami! Wake up!" he said.

No response. Yami was out like a light.

Bakura tried again, shaking him even rougher. "Dang you Yami! Wake up!!"

For a strange reason, Bakura looked up and happened to notice the Malik's headless body. The thief cringed. He picked up Yami and ran away from the headless Malik as fast as he could. _Gesh! For some reason, headless bodies give me the willies!!! _He thought.

After he had gotten a safe distance away from Headless Malik, he dropped Yami onto the ground. "WAKE UP DANG YOU!!!" he shouted.

The shock from hitting the ground caused Yami to stir. He opened his eyes, moaned, then threw up.

After hocking up all 35 of those sakes and his lunch, Yami looked up wearily and moaned, "Ooooh, my head...wha...what happened, Bakura?"

Bakura replied, "You drank too much. (And you puked all over my new shoes!!) Now come on! We must stop Anzu and avenge Malik!!"

"Oh...right!" Yami stumbled as Bakura helped him to his feet.

The tomb robber and the Pharaoh put their heads together and devised a plan.

**Meanwhile!!**

Anzu-Battousai, on her mad killing spree, picked out her third victim.

She walked up to a random house on a random street, kicks down the door, and shrieked, _"Come on out, Mai Kujaku!!!" _

Mai walked into the living room, sporting a towel and shower cap. "Wha...Anzu? What is the meaning of this? I was in the shower I'll have you know!!"

By now, Bakura and Yami had strangely figured out that Mai was to be Anzu-Battousai's next victim. The ran through the already broken down door.

"No, Mai!!" Yami screamed.

The tomb raider and the Pharaoh both stopped in their tracks as they noticed Mai was wearing close to nothing. They both blushed madly.

Mai became suspicious. "Yugi? Bakura? What's going on? And what on earth are you staring at?"

Bakura blushed even more. "Wah! Nothing! We weren't looking at anything! Right, Yami?"

Yami, however, disagreed. He whistled and shouted, "Woo! Yeah!! Sexy!! Take it off, Mai!!!!"

Mai, blushing from embarrassment and anger, waltzed right up to Yami and smacked the crap out of him. "You _hentai _jerk!!!!" Mai shouted.

Bakura was stunned. _Yami, you pervert!!! _He thought. "Please ignore him, Mai," he said, still blushing. He then cleared his throat and said, "Mai! Get out, now!! Anzu will kill you!!!"

"**HUH?!?!"** Mai said with a goofy confused look on her face.

"Aww...Bakura..." Anzu-Battousai said while setting mines and dropping them. "You spoiled my surprise...Nya ha ha hah...!!!!"

Yami noticed the mines on the ground. He gasped. "Mai!! Get out of here!!"

"TOO LATE!!" Anzu-Battousai shouted.

Bakura and Yami found themselves getting thrown out of the house. Two seconds later, the house blew sky-high, taking Mai with it.

"NO!!! MAI!!!!!" Yami screamed as he watched the house go up in a blaze.

Bakura groaned, "Mai...argh...! We were too late!!"

Anzu-Battousai strolled out of the fire, holding a missile launcher and cackling madly.

Tears streamed down Bakura and Yami's faces.

"Ooh...and we could have saved her, too," Bakura whined.

"Ooh!!" Yami moaned. _No! I'll never get to see Mai naked again...!!! _He thought as he fell to the ground in despair.

As though responding to Yami's request, Mai's charred body fell from the sky and landed at their feet.

"_AAAAHHHHHHHHHGGGHHHHHH!!!!" _The two yamis shrieked as they ran off.

The Pharaoh and the tomb robber ran until they became tired. They stopped running to catch their breath, when they look up and see none other than Anzu-Battousai.

"Well, if it isn't the two remaining yamis! I'm sure you remember me!! Nya ha hah!!"

_ANZU!! _Thought a frustrated Bakura. _Just great! Of all people..._

Yami was also aware that Anzu was the last person they needed to see at the moment. But something else came to his mind. "Hey, Anzu," he said. "...Take off your armor!"

Anzu-Battousai stared at him. "What? Why should I?" She scoffed.

"C'mon, Anzu!" he said. "I know ya wanna...c'mon, take it all off!!"

_Oh no,_ Bakura thought, _Yami's being hentai again...come on, Yami, now isn't the time!!!_

Anzu-Battousai knocked the tar out of Yami. "You pervert!" she cried. "I'll make sure you get yours!!!"

Just then, Hiroto Honda appeared from nowhere. "Hey guys," he said casually, waving to Yami and Bakura. "What's up?"

BAM. As soon as anyone had known it, Honda's head was taken off by a missile.

Honda's headless body stayed standing for about two seconds, then fell over.

"_NOOOOOOO!! HOOOONDAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" _Yami screamed.

Anzu-Battousai just cackled.

"ANZU!" Yami shouted. "STOP THIS NOW!!"

At this moment, Yugi Mutoh and his friend, Katsuya Jounouchi, who has possibly the longest name on the show (and the hardest to pronounce) appeared from nowhere.

"Hey, guys, howsit goin'?" Yugi asked.

"What's kickin' man?" Jono asked.

Anzu-Battousai aimed her missile launcher at Jou. "Go away you jerk Jounouchi!!" she shouted.

BANG. Jounouchi was blown sky-high.

"_Jonouchi!! Nooooooooooooooo!!!" _Yugi shouted. Suddenly, the unpredictable happened...Yugi snapped!!!

He lunged at Anzu-Battousai. _"ANZU!!! I'M NOT LETTING YOU GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!!!!" _he yelled. Yugi body-slammed Anzu-Battousai.

"I don't have time for this...!!" Anzu-Battousai said as she socked poor Yugi in the gut.

"_Oww...!!" _Yugi moaned as he fell to the ground.

"_AIBOU!!!!" _Yami screamed.

"Ooh..." Bakura growled. "You're beginning to piss of off Anzu!"

At that moment, Jounouchi's head rolled and landed at Bakura's feet, with one eye open.

Bakura stared at the head that once rested on Jou's shoulders. He cringed. _It's looking at me..._he thought.

Suddenly, Jounouchi's head _blinked_ its other eye!

Bakura gasped and ran away. _"AAAAHHHHHHHH!! IT'S ALIVE!! IT'S ALIVE!!!" _he screamed.

Yami swirled around. "Bakura!!" he shouted.

"Nya ha ha haaah..." came Anzu-Battousai's infamous cackling. "It's just you and me now Yami. We are going to FIGHT!! COME ON!!" She stood in a fighting stance.

Yami growled. _"Grrr!! _All right then..." He stood in a karate-style fighting stance. He held out arm and signaled for her to bring it on. The Millennium symbol flashed on his forehead. "Let's go, Anzu!!" he said.

End Chapter Four!!

The end of this chapter has always been special to me...it was one of my very first cliffhangers...

The fight between Yami and Anzu-Battousai begins next chapter! I'll tell you now, the script version of the fight was better...but I think I can still pull it off...!! Ja ne!!


	5. AnzuBattousai vs Yami, Part 1!

By Hikaru Hayashi

Well, I'm back to this one. I don't know what people think of it so far...is it okay? Is it too random? Well, I started the editing, I may as well go all the way! By the way, how many of you think AZB (my acronym for "Anzu-Battousai") is getting too out of hand?

Disclaimer note: I don't own anybody in this fic! All the characters in this fic are from Yu-Gi-Oh! and they rightfully belong to Mr. Kazuki Takahashi. If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh!, which I don't, then I would be filthy rich and I wouldn't be writing these crummy little fanfictions...oh well. That's just the way it is.

Let the madness continue!

Chapter 5: Anzu-Battousai vs. Yami, Part 1!

Where we last left off, Bakura ran away screaming from Jou's dismembered head, and Anzu-Battousai was about to duke it out with Yami. In case anyone's lost by now, here's the status of characters:

Noah Kaiba was Anzu-Battousai's first victim. He's dead, but how in the world do you kill a dead person?! After she did away with poor Noah, Malik, tomb keeper Marik's deranged yami, was next on the list. Mai Kujaku was victim number three for our bloodthirsty former cheerleader. Then Katsuya Jounouchi and Hiroto Honda were the next to suffer, causing Yugi to lose his temper and attack Anzu-Battousai...just to get the stuffing knocked out of him (though he's not dead). This is where we are now

Yami stood in a fighting stance, a cold glare on his face. "Anzu!" he shouted. "You are going to pay for what you did to my friends!!"

Anzu-Batousai cackled. "You? Defeat me? Hah! You wouldn't last three seconds, Pharaoh"

Bakura, hiding behind a bush, still traumatized by recent events, looked up. "Is...::gulp:: is it safe?" He sees the two ready to go at it. _They're going to duke it out_the tomb robber thought. _They're going to go all out in this match to save humanity from the wrath of a demented high school girl. Of course, we all know who's winning this round, don't we, ladies and gentlemen?! Hey! I could be a commentator_

Yami heard rustling in the bushes. He turned around and spotted Bakura. "Bakura! You shouldn't be here! It's not safe!!"

"Aww, what!" Bakura said, standing up. "I can't stay and watch the fight? By the way, Yami, if you die, can I keep your Millennium Puzzle?"

Yami growled, furious with this comment. "Grrr!!" he marched straight up to the tomb robber and smacked the tar out of him. "Bakura!" he shouted. "I swear!!!"

Suddenly, Ryuji Otogi appeared from nowhere, along with Shizuka Jounouchi, Jou's little sister.

Shizuka, also known as Serenity, saw her brother's head lying on the ground in a pool of blood staring at her, or so it seemed. She screamed. _"AAAAHHHHHHHHHH! NO! JOEY!!! Oh, my poor brother!!" _She cried as she began to run away.

Just then, the head of Katsuya Jounouchi SPOKE to Shizuka. "Don't go, sis!" it said. "I need you!!!"

Shizuka stared wide-eyed at the head of her brother as she began to faint.

Anzu-Battousai felt "pity" for Shizuka and decided to put her out of her misery. "Oh, don't be sad, Shizuka!" she said as she pulled a blockbuster bomb from her pocket. "You see him again REAL soon. Nya ha ha!" She threw the bomb at Shizuka.

"Wha!!" Shizuka gasped as she stood in place, frozen with fear.

"_Serenity! Run!!" _Yami shouted.

"Too late!" Bakura said as he knocked Yami and Otogi to the ground so they wouldn't get caught in the blast.

"Oof!" Yami grunted as he hit the ground.

"SERENITY!" Otogi shouted.

KA-BLAMMO. And so, Shizuka Jounouchi was blown to a crisp.

Otogi screamed. _"SERENITY!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" _Here, he paused for air. Then took a deep breath, and shouted, _ "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"_

Anzu-Battousai got out her missile launcher and aimed it at Otogi. _"I'm sick of you, Devlin!" _she shouted. _"Go join your true love in Hades!!!!" _

With these words, Anzu-Battousai fired a few missiles and that was the end of Ryuji Otogi!!

"Otogi-kun!" Yami shouted. This was the last straw. Yami stared at the ground. "No...no more" He couldn't keep his anger bottled up anymore. Just when things couldn't get any worse, they did. The Pharaoh snapped. "ANZU!!!" He shouted while charging at her. "YOU'RE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME!! DEAD!!!!!!"

"Heh heh heh! That's just fine," Anzu-Battousai said as she walked towards the rampaging Pharaoh, stepping on his hikari on the way.

"Owwww...Anzu," Yugi moaned.

"Oh?" Anzu-Battousai said, a tiny bit startled. "Still alive, huh?!" She pulled out her machine gun and shot what was left of Yugi Mutoh. "DIE, YUGI!" She cackled while firing shots onto the poor innocent four-foot tall high school boy.

"_NOOOO! AIBOU!!!!!" _Yami screamed. "ARGH! THAT'S IT, ANZU! NOW YOU REALLY **ARE** GOING TO DIE!!" He attempts to assault Anzu-Battousai with a pocketknife.

Anzu-Battousai pulled out her shotgun and aimed at Yami.

Just then, Bakura jumped in the middle, put his hands up and said, "As the official ref, I must insist on hand-to-hand combat!!"

Anzu-Battousai, who had had it up to here with Bakura, almost blasted him into a pulp, but changed her mind. "Hmm...he could be useful..All right, then, I agree. No weapons. Sound okay, Pharaoh?"

"THAT'S JUST FINE!" Yami said, his hands shivering as he put his pocketknife back. "SO LONG AS I CLOBBER YOU!! YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH KILLING MY AIBOU!!!!"

"Hey guys!" came a friendly voice as Bakura's hikari Ryou appeared from nowhere.

"This is getting old!" Anzu growled, shooting Ryou in the head before putting her shotgun away.

Bakura ran to his fallen hikari. _"No! Ryou!" _ he shouted. He knelt to the ground and shook him. "Ryou! Are you okay?! Speak to me!!"

Ryou lay on the ground, covered in blood. His eyes were still wide open with the look of shock still glued on his face. Ryou Bakura was no more.

The tomb robber began to cry. "No-hooo!" he sobbed. "My Ryou!!" (A/N: Do NOT take this the wrong way! I don't like shonen-ai; he meant it as a close friend.)

Yami stared. "HE'S SO HOPELESS!" he muttered loudly. He the caught sight of Anzu-Battousai running off. "WHERE THE DEVIL ARE YOU GOING!" he screamed.

"To make sure no one else interferes with our battle!" she said as she pulled out a torch gun and threw some Molotov cocktails at the Kaiba mansion.

Yami felt his already high anger level rising as Seto and Mokuba's screams are heard from the mansion:

"Help! Help us, please!" Yugi! Bakura! Blast you!" "Help! Save me! I don't wanna die!" "You heard him! I _know_ you can hear us, you losers!" "Oh! Hot! Hot! Hot!" "Get us outta here now you pathetic morons!!! I'm not in the mood to die today!! _Get me outta here!!!!" "_YUUUUGGGIIIIII!! HEEEEEELLLPPPP!! WE'RE GONNA FRY!!"

Gradually, the screams die out until their voices are no longer heard. Seto and Mokuba Kaiba had been roasted alive.

"_NOOOOOOO!"_ shouted the already enraged Pharaoh. _"KAIBA! MOKUBA!!"_

"NYA AHA HA HA HAH!" Came Anzu-Battousai's cackling as she was getting happy with the torch gun. "DIE KAIBA!! DIE MOKUBA!! NYA HA HAH!!"

"ANZU!!" Yami shouted, more pissed than what he was before.

Anzu-Battousai, wishing she'd used a bigger torch gun (the first one was pretty huge), finally turned to Yami and said, "Let's fight now, Pharaoh! Give me your best shot!!"

Yami looks up and glares at Anzu-Battousai. _"With pleasure...!"_ he said coldly.

Bakura the tomb robber, who had not quite gotten over Ryou's untimely demise and was now wearing a referee uniform, pulled out his red and white flags. "This is it! Anzu Versus Yami, round one! _Let's get ready to rumblllllllllllllllleeeeeee!!" _

With this, a bell sounded out of nowhere. Bakura shouted _"FIGHT!"_ and the battle was on.

"_Let's go!"_ Yami shouted as he lunged at Anzu-Battousai with an attempt to punch her.

She lightly stepped out of the way as if she'd seen it coming the day before, and returned Yami's assault with a karate-chop in the back. _"Hai-yaa!!" _she shrieked as she was initiating her attack.

Anzu-Battousai's attack landed with perfect accuracy, striking Yami in the back and knocking him to the ground. _"Oof!" _Yami grunted as the attack instantly introduced him to the taste of dirt.

As Yami stumbled to get back to his feet, he felt a hard impact to his gut. _"Ugh!" _ he gasped.

Anzu-Battousai had given him a good hard kick to the abdomen, and just because she felt like it, initiated four more kicks to make sure Yami wouldn't get up for a while. "Hmph! Take that."

Yami moaned in pain. He was unable to get to his feet. As he lay on the ground half-unconscious, he heard a voice.

"Yami! Get your lazy carcass off the ground!!"

Yami looked up to see a blurred out Referee Bakura. "B-B...Bakura" Yami stammered, in a weak whiney voice. "Sh-she...she's too strong...I...I can't do it!"

"Yes heck you can!" Bakura argued. "And you will. You're getting beat by a GIRL for Ra's sake! You **will** get up and fight this fight, Yami! Unless you want to end up like our hikaris!!"

Yami paused. _Aibou..._he thought. _Ryou...I'm fighting for you..._ "All of you!" Yami suddenly said out loud. "Jounouchi-kun! Honda-kun! Otogi-kun! Shizuka! Mai! Mokuba! Kaiba! Even Malik and Noah!!! I'm fighting this battle for my friends! Every one of them!! I-won't-let-them-down!!!" Yami opened his eyes to find that he had risen to his feet. "Anzu!" he shouted while pointing a finger at Anzu-Battousai. "This fight's not over yet!!"

Bakura chuckled. _Hmph! I knew reminding him of his silly friends would do the job...pathetic fool...!!_

Anzu-Battousai, who was perched atop a fence, looked up as she put her nail filer away. "Gee, Pharaoh," she started. "Thanks for letting me finish my manicure."

"Glad you're finished," Yami replied. "Too bad your pretty nails are about to get scratched! It's time for me to get back to kicking your butt!!"

"Um, who was getting _who's _butt kicked, Yami?!" Bakura asked sarcastically. "I believe it was you!"

"Ah, shaddap!" Yami shot back, having over the years picked up Jou's colorful lingo. He then turned to face his opponent, muttering, "Stupid baka tomb robber..."

Bakura mumbled under his breath, "Hmph...stupid baka Pharaoh..."

"Goodie!" Anzu-Battousai shrieked. "Let's finish this!"

"Bring it on..." Yami said.

End Chapter Five!!

Well, here's chappie five. What'dya think? Tell me in your review. Ja ne!


	6. AnzuBattousai vs Yami, Part 2!

By Hikaru Hayashi

Hey! If you're reading this, it means I finally had time to update! Yay! I'm debating on whether or not I should post the next chapter of _Kokoro no Seto, _since people seem to hate it so much...what the heck!

But anyhow, I just read the most recently updated chapter of _Marik's Boring Day_ by silver-dagger-113, and that inspired me to update "Anzu Snaps". How's that fer ya? In any case, this chapter continues the fight between AZB and Yami. So let's get on with it.

Disclaimer note: Yes, I realize I have a sick mind, killing off everyone in Takahashi-san's brilliant masterpiece with the wimpiest character, so sue me! I don't own them.

Now let the madness commence!

Chapter 6: Anzu-Battousai vs. Yami, Part 2!

Last chapter, we witnessed Anzu-Battousai, this story's extremely violent antagonist, kill off poor innocent Shizuka, the most hated Ryuji Otogi, and the insanely rich Kaiba brothers. She also commenced to whip our dear poor Pharaoh Yami into a pulp and then some. However, Bakura's ::cough, cough:: "Words of Encouragement" gave Yami the strength he needed to get back to his feet. Again. And now, the struggle for survival continues...

Yami found himself flying through the air after being swung at and hit by a giant mace. _"Argh!" _he screamed.

Bakura gasped as he saw Yami become airborne and land some 30 feet away. _"Yami!!" _he shouted.

Anzu-Battousai cackled as she cradled the giant mace she was now wielding. "NYA HA HA HA HAH!"

Bakura, stunned, turned to Anzu-Battousai and exclaimed, "Anzu! I thought I said no weapons!!"

Anzu-Battousai pointed a finger a Bakura and shouted, "You! Just commentate or shut the heck up before you find your **head **lying next to Jounouchi's!!"

Bakura gulped as he began to panic. "Uh...al-alright..." he whined.

Jou's head happened to be "watching" the fight, decided to give Yami some words of encouragement. "Yami!" it said. "Get up! Remember what you're fightin' for here! We want revenge fer Yugi an' my sister!!"

Yami, who was lying on the ground half unconscious, thought, _Wha...that's strange...I hear Jounouchi's voice...am I...am I...dead...? _

Suddenly, another unexpected intrusion occurred. Pegasus J. Crawford had appeared from nowhere and was now sitting on some bleachers wearing a baseball cap and wielding a flag emblazoned with the words, "Fight Yami, Fight!". He also had a bucket of popcorn. Despite the cap, his hair hung over his face, revealing his one good eye, since Bakura had stolen his Millennium Eye back at Duelist Kingdom.

"_Get off the ground, Yami!" _Pegasus scolded. "I paid good money for this popcorn and I'm not going to waste it watching you lose! _Get up and fight her, dangit!!!" _

Yami had come to his senses, when he heard Pegasus's voice. "P-Pegasus...?" he muttered.

Anzu-Battousai was stunned. "Pegasus J. Crawford?!?! Where the heck did **you** come from?! Well, it doesn't matter! I'll kill you like I did everyone else!!"

Yami pulled himself off of the ground. "Anzu!" he shouted. "I won't let you hurt anyone else!! Got that?!"

Anzu-Battousai stared blankly at the Pharaoh. _He just doesn't know how to give up, does he? _"Hmph. Fine then. It looks like I'll have to postpone your demise, Pegasus. But not another word, or I'll blow you to bits!"

"Fine," Pegasus muttered.

"Ah ah!" Anzu-Battousai scolded, waving a finger. "Not a word!"

As if there weren't already enough intrusions, Sugoroku Mutoh, Yugi's grandfather, came from nowhere wielding a rifle. "Yami! I've come to help you!" he proclaimed boldly. His bold look turned into a frown as he stared at the carnage in their surrounding area. Among the wreckage, he saw something that greatly disturbed him... "_WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO MY GRANDSON!!!" _he shouted angrily. "Yugi! Speak to me!!"

Suddenly, Anzu-Battousai got another maniacal idea. "Nya ha...of course!" She ran off with tons of mines. "Watch the fireworks, Old Man!"

"NO!" Grandpa Mutoh shouted, "Not my game shop! You can't, Anzu!" He ran into the shop, which was apparently the wrong thing to do.

"ANZU! DON'T!!" Yami shouted.

Anzu-Battousai threw her millions of mines, blasting the Kame Game Shop, and Grandpa Sukoroku Mutoh, into oblivion.

"_GRANDPA!!" _Yami cried dramatically. Then he stopped and thought, _Oh, for Ra's sake, he wasn't even **my **grandfather! Blast you, Aibou!!! _

Anzu-Battousai then turned and declared, "And while I'm in a good mood, I'll kill you too, Pegasus!!"

Pegasus looked up, a silly confused look on his face. "Hm?!?" He said, in a quizzical voice. "I beg your pardon?!?!"

Pegasus never knew what hit him. The final thing he saw was missiles flying towards him rather quickly. "Oh darn..." he muttered before being blown to pieces. Thus was the complete and utter annihilation of Pegasus J. Crawford, his bleachers, baseball cap and flag, and his expensive popcorn.

Bakura was frightened by this exhibition. He closed his eyes and begged, _No more heads! Please god, no more heads...!! _

At this moment, Pegasus's **arm** fell from the sky and landed on Bakura's head.

Bakura moaned. "Ooh...woe is me!!!" he cried.

Yami was furious. "Oh, now you've done it, Anzu!"

As if they didn't have enough interruptions, Marik Ishtar, the tomb keeper whose yami had gotten his head blown off earlier, had appeared from nowhere. "Hey, guys," he started, "has anyone seen my yami?"

The Pharaoh, forgetting his real target for a while, directed his attention towards the tomb keeper. "MARIK!!!" He shouted in his deep overly-dramatic voice.

Marik, forgetting his objective, pointed his Millennium Rod at Yami. "Well, well, if it isn't the Pharaoh!"

"Enjoy your little reunion while you can!" came Anzu-Battousai's maniacal voice before Marik found himself being bombarded by tons of grenades.

"Oh!" he gasped with a silly look on his face as the grenades came flying at him. "I'm in trouble..."

BAM! And so Marik Ishtar went to join his yami...and all the rest of the poor souls who had their lives stolen by the fiendish Anzu-Battousai.

Yami turned back to face his former friend. _Do I really want to kill her now...?_ He thought. _I mean, I never really liked Marik...she really just did me a favor! _

Bakura, being a yami himself, and, all of a sudden, mysteriously able to read Yami's thoughts, sweatdropped. _Darn it all, Yami! Fight her!_

Yami, also mysteriously able to read Bakura's thoughts, replied, _Fine!!_

_Fine!_

_FINE!!_

_Uh...Yami?_

_WHAT?!_

_Why are we speaking to each other telepathically? Like we used to do with our hikaris?_

_SHUT UP! _Yami telepathed, shooting an angry glare at Bakura. _Ryou and Aibou are coming back! Don't say "used to"! That makes it sound like they're gone for good, when you know darn well that I'll find some weird and illogical way that makes no sense at all to bring Aibou and all our friends back just like always!!! For that comment, I refuse to fight!! So there! _With this, Yami turned his back, folded his arms, and stood still. "Hmph!"

Bakura put his hand on his forehead and moaned.

Anzu-Battousai was beginning to snore, while drooling at the mouth.

_Good Ra, this is going to be a looooooooong fight!! _Bakura thought.

End Chapter Six!!

Well, here it is, my first chapter in about two months! Stupid school. Enjoyed it?

And that...is as far as I got the last time I had this story up! I typed chapter seven, but my story was taken down before I had the chance to post it. So you will be the first people to read Chapter Seven! And everything after Chapter Seven are original chapters! There probably only be nine, but that's two chapters that have never been typed! I COULD tell you what happens, but that wouldn't be any fun! So review! Ja ne!!


	7. AnzuBattousai vs Yami, Part 3!

By Hikaru Hayashi

Hey there, Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfiction readers! (My fave genre!) It feels great to be back. But, I had to write an InuYasha fic for some friends at school…you know what it's like, right? Anywho, I was in the mood to write something crazy, so I thought I'd update this one! So here's chapter seven of _When Anzu Snaps. _

Disclaimer note: Blast it! I own NOTHING!

Let the fanfic frenzy commence!

Chapter 7: Anzu-Battousai vs. Yami, Part 3!

When we last left off on _When Anzu Snaps, _Yami and thief Bakura had just gotten into a strange argument. Yami decided he wasn't going to fight after Anzu-Battousai had vengefully destroyed Marik Ishtar. However, suddenly remembering what he was fighting for, and that she had also killed off his (or rather, Yugi's) Grandfather, he decided to continue fighting after all.

"Now, look, Anzu," Yami started, the Kame Game Shop still burning in the background, "I'm sick of you mindlessly killing people! This madness has to end, now!"

_Pfah! Now he's talking! _Bakura thought, getting back into his fighting spirit. _"Let the fighting continue!" _Bakura shouted loudly. _"C'mon, Yami! Open up a can of Butt-Whoop on her!" _

"This has to stop, Anzu!" Yami said, getting ready to continue the fight. "And **I'm **going to stop you!"

Suddenly, the three hear a voice from nowhere. "I'm sick of you, Yami!" the Voice said. "All you do is talk! You talk big, but you don't back it up! And you call yourself a Pharaoh…!"

Anzu-Battousai crossed her arms. "Y'know, whoever that is has a point…"

"I agree!" came the voice of Katsuya Jounouchi's dismembered head.

"Yeah, me too," Bakura chimed in. "Sorry, Yami."

Yami growled angrily. "What the heck!" he shouted with rage. "Whoever you are, you've got a lot of gall, buddy! Show yourself! Now!"

The three (four, counting Jou's head) watch as the ghostly figure of Yugi Mutoh appeared, floating just a few inches off of the ground.

Bakura screamed bloody murder. _"Aaahhhhhhhh! First heads, now ghosts! Waaaaa! I want my Mommy!" _

Yami gasped as he realized who he was just addressing. _"Aibou!" _

"Yami, I'm so ashamed of you!" said Yugi's ghost. "Now, normally, I'm usually the nonviolent type, but this madness has to stop! You know you should have beaten her long ago…BEFORE she killed me!"

"Ah!" Yami gasped. "Uh…wait…Aibou! Please, let me explain…!"

"_No!" _ Yugi's ghost cried. "I won't hear it! I am sick and tired of your bullcrap, Yami! Yap, yap, yap! That's all you do! I've had it!"

"But…but I can beat her…!" Yami stammered.

"Then, do it, dang it all!" Yugi's ghost shouted as he sat in mid-air with his legs crossed Indian-style. "And prove to me that you're not just all talk and no action."

"All right then, fine!" Yami said as he compiled himself and picked up a lead pipe. "This one's for you, Aibou!"

"Hey! I could have sworn that I said no weapons!" Bakura shouted.

"You're going down, Anzu!" Yami shouted.

"Less talking, more fighting!" Yugi's ghost called, floating restlessly.

"ALL RIGHT!" Yami shouted as he charged at Anzu-Battousai.

Anzu-Battousai snickered. "When will he learn?" she said as Yami charged at him. She countered his attack by blocking the pipe with her arm.

"What?" Bakura shouted, startled.

"Ah…!" Yami gasped. "How…did you block that…with just your arm!"

"Hm? I dunno…" she replied before punching him in the gut.

"_Oof!" _Yami grunted. He doubled over in pain, dropping the lead pipe.

Anzu-Battousai grabbed for the lead pipe.

Bakura gasped. _"Yami! Look out!" _

Too late. Anzu-Battousai clonked Yami on the head with the lead pipe.

"_Ouch! Oh…" _Yami shouted as he fell to the ground and lost consciousness.

Bakura cringed. "Ooh! That has GOT to smart!"

"Yeah, no stuff, Bakura!" Jou's head replied. "Yo, Yami! You awright, man?"

The ghost of Yugi Mutoh started busting up laughing. "Ha hah! I TOLD you he was all talk and no action! Woo-hoo! Yeah!" he whistled, clapping his hands and cheering. "Kick his **_tail_**, Anzu! Die, Pharaoh! Die!"

Bakura ran to Yami. "Yami, get up and fight!" he said, shaking him.

The Pharaoh did not respond.

"C'mon, Yami!" Bakura said, shaking him harder. "This isn't funny! Now get up!"

Still no response.

"Oh, give me a break…!" Bakura moaned. "Yami, wake up, darn you!"

Yami remained unconscious.

Bakura gasped. "Oh…don't tell me he's…!" He checked for a pulse. There was none. This couldn't be happening, he thought, angrily. _C'mon, Yami! You are the only one who can defeat Anzu! You've got to pull yourself together!_

Still nothing. Nobody thought it could happen, but it did. It looked as though Yami, as undefeatable as he was, being the King of Games and all, had finally met his match. _The Pharaoh was dead! _(Bum bum buuuuuuum!)

"Yami…!" Bakura whispered, his rage building up. It wasn't fair! First Malik, now Yami! Bakura was now faced with a harsh truth: he was the last yami standing.

"No, it can't be…!" Jou's head choked. It appeared to be crying. "No! Not Yami! No!"

Bakura threw his head back and screamed loudly: _"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

Then he placed the fallen Pharaoh on the ground, stood up, and faced Anzu-Battousai, an enraged look on his face, fire raging in his eyes mingled with his tears. (Jou's Head: "Wow! Bakura's CRYING!") He growled, unable to contain his anger. As he got angrier, his Millennium Ring began to glow and the Millennium symbol flashed on his forehead. Well, it looked like our favorite tomb robber could just about join the club now. Thief Bakura had snapped!

"THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW!" He screamed. "YOU ARE GOING **_DOWN_**, ANZU!"

Anzu-Battousai began to cackle. "Well, I don't know, Thief," she said. "I mean, I've already disposed of that annoying Pharaoh; you might not even be a challenge for me!"

"Oh, you'll get your challenge, all right…!" Bakura shot angrily; his Millennium Ring was now glowing out of control. "Because I'M in control now! Anzu! _I'm taking this fight to the Shadow Realm! And there's nothing you can do to stop me!" _

Anzu-Battousai stared with a befuzzled look on her face. "O-kay. **That** could be problem." she announced, a hint of nervousness in her voice as the familiar cloud of darkness surrounded the area.

Yugi's ghost, unfazed by Yami's death, shouted restlessly: "Less talking, people!"

"I promise you, Anzu!" Bakura said. "I shall avenge Yami! You will finally get what you deserve, and at last, I shall have my revenge! _H-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah!" _

End Chapter Seven!

Yes! I know. Yami's dead! It's so tragic! Originally, I wasn't gonna have him die, but everybody else did, so…! Yeah.

Believe it or not, that part of the chapter reflects my anger from watching my favorite character on s.CRY.ed get killed off. If anyone else out there has seen it, then they know what I'm talking about. (Poor Kimishima!)

The next chapter is all-new! This was the end of the script chapters: this was as far as I got! (Sucks, huh?) Chapter eight is all new material. (And Microsoft Word doesn't recognize "befuzzled" as a word. I do! It's mine!)

Speaking of which, I was thinking about writing an InuYasha companion fic to this one. It's Brilliant! I shall call it: _When Kagome Snaps! _

Ah, just screw my rambling and review please. Ja ne!


	8. Shadow Realm Chaos

By Hikaru Hayashi

I'm updating this fic because I was bored and I needed something funny to write, so yeah.

Guess what? This chapter is all original (never got this far last time before it got taken down…)

I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed so far for keeping up with the program even though I've disappeared for months on end! Thanks a lot!

Disclaimer note: ANZU WILL DIE…We hope. Well, we can dream, right? I mean, Bakura IS capable of defeating her, right? We can only hope. Ah, shoot. I don't own them.

Chapter 8: Shadow Realm Chaos 

When we last left off on _When Anzu Snaps, _our extremely violent former pacifist antagonist, Anzu-Battousai, had killed our beloved Pharaoh Yami. It seemed as though nobody was left that could stop her, until Thief Bakura, upon Yami's death, just happened to finally lose his cool and he prepared to face Anzu-Battousai head on as he vowed to avenge Yami and Malik.

Anzu-Battousai and Jounouchi's head trembled as the remaining Yu-Gi-Oh! cast members were surrounded by the familiar eerie darkness of the _Shadow Realm. _(Bum bum buuuuuuuuum!)

"Oh, boy," Anzu-Battousai muttered. "This is not gonna be pretty…"

"Darn straight!" Shouted an enraged Bakura. "You are going to pay dearly for what you've done to Malik and Yami! In fact, so dearly that you will rue the day you were even born! _H-ha ha ha ha hah!" _

"Um, could we just please get to the fighting already!" called the restless spirit of Yugi Mutoh. "**Today**, if you don't mind."

"Ah, shut up, you little rat!" Bakura growled as he pulled a revolver from his pocket (breaking his own rules, I might add) and shooting Yugi in the head.

Silence. Bakura gasped. "What? Still alive!"

"No, you dimwitted moron!" Replied an annoyed Yugi. "That's the point! I'm already dead! You can't kill me with a revolver!"

Bakura blushed as he slipped the revolver back into his pocket. "Ooh…oops. Heh heh…my mistake…"

"See, this is why I already killed him," Anzu-Battousai said, crossing her arms. "Unfortunately, that didn't seem to work, so we'll just have to put up with the annoying little punk-sucker."

"_Hey! I resent that!" _Yugi called angrily. _"And aren't you losers supposed to be fighting anyway instead of wasting your time insulting me?" _

"Who is **he** calling a loser?" came the voice of an unknown stranger. "He's just a much a loser as any of you pathetic morons."

"What in bloody…!" Bakura shouted, startled. "Who's there!"

"If I didn't know any better," Anzu-Battousai started, getting her giant machine gun ready for action. "I'd say it was Seto Kaiba. But I **do **know better because, for one, he's dead, and two, that doesn't even sound like Kaiba. So, I'm lost. "

"Of course, YOU know," Yugi shot. "YOU'RE the one who killed him! By the way, he told me to tell you how much you royally suck for killing him and Mokuba, and how you two could have had a beautiful relationship."

Anzu-Battousai's eyes grew wide as she sweat-dropped. These words came from the mouth of the former Seto Kaiba? _You have got to be kidding me…_ she thought. _I don't think so!_

Ignoring Yugi's comment, she shook her head, readied her gun, and said, "But whoever this 'unknown' is, he's about to get his _head_ blown off!"

Bakura cringed. "Hey! My realm, my rules! NO HEADS, PLEASE!"

"Yes! No heads!" came the voice of Unknown. "And, aren't you two in the middle of a grudge match? Forgive me for interrupting, but it seemed interesting; I had to watch!"

"Hey! Unknown punk! I've got a question for you!" Bakura called to their unseen visitor. "We're in the Shadow Realm! Nobody gets in or out unless I say so. So, how in Ra's name did YOU get in!"

Unknown chuckled evilly. "That's my secret…" he answered slyly.

"Now wait just a bloody minute, you slime!" Bakura shouted angrily as Anzu-Battousai snuck up on him with the same pipe she had used to kill Yami. Since they were in the Shadow Realm, Bakura sensed her coming and used his Millennium powers to block her.

It was like running smack into a wall. "Ooh…I'm dizzy…" she mumbled as she saw stars. "Hey, look! There are two Bakuras!"

"Ah, shut up." He muttered.

"I know!" Yugi piped up. "The unknown stranger! Maybe it's Shadi!"

"Hello." Shadi said, appearing from nowhere _in the opposite direction. _

"Smooth…" Bakura growled, sweat-dropping. "Any more brilliant ideas in that tiny little ghostly head of yours!"

"No…" Yugi muttered as he turned bright scarlet.

Shadi, dressed in white garments with a turban, looked around conspicuously. "This is not good." he said. "I'm sensing a disturbance in the Force…"

Yugi, Bakura, and Anzu-Battousai just stared at the strange man with the turban.

"O-kay, he's finally lost it…" Yugi sighed. "Kill him, Anzu!"

"With pleasure…!" Anzu-Battousai said, aiming her blaster at Shadi.

"No, wait! PLEASE!" Shadi shouted as he began to back away. "I beg of you...!…you're making a mistake! Fight the evil within you, Tea!"

"MY…NAME…IS NOT…TEA!" Anzu-Battousai shouted. "See, this is the reason I got rid of that punk Noah!"

With these words, Shadi was blown to a pulp. The only thing left of him were his charred remains, his turban, and his Millennium Key.

"Remember the name Battousai Mazaki!" Anzu-Battousai said to what was left of Shadi before cackling madly, not like he could hear anyway.

"I'll take your Millennium Key, Shadi!" Bakura said as he snatched up the Key and hung it around his next with his Ring and Yami's Puzzle.

"_Hold on a second!" _Ghost Yugi shouted. "When did you get the Millennium Puzzle!"

"More like, how long has he had it?" Jou's head asked.

"About twelve minutes!" Bakura said to Jounouchi's head, then turned to face Yugi in surprise. "And you! I thought you could figure _everything_ out, Mr. King of Games!"

Yugi thought for a second. His thoughts brought him back to the moment of Yami's demise…

After determining that our poor Pharaoh was dead, Bakura threw his head back and screamed loudly:

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

_Jou's head cried. "No! Not Yami! No!" Yugi's ghost seemed unfazed as he watched this spectacle. _

_Bakura gently placed the fallen Pharaoh on the ground…then took a quick glance around to make sure no one was looking. In a hardly noticeable slight of hand, Bakura took the Millennium Puzzle from around Yami's neck and put it around his own before standing up and facing Anzu-Battousai with extreme rage. _

"OH MY GOD!" Ghost Yugi shouted upon realizing this fact. "Bakura! I can't believe you did that! How cruel can you get! That's just plain messed up!"

Bakura faced him with a paranoid look. "Just about as messed up as not mourning your yami's death…" he shot back.

Ouch. These words cut through Yugi's "heart" as he realized how cruel he had been…cheering on Anzu-Battousai…shouting insults at Yami… "Oh, _no!" _he cried as he sank to the ground on his knees. "What have I done? How could I have been so cruel?" For the first time since he'd been a ghost, Yugi cried.

The thief rolled his eyes. "How pathetic…" he mumbled.

"Not as pathetic as **you** are, my dear Thief Bakura!" came Unknown's voice.

"You! In the shadows! Please shut up!" Bakura shot at Unknown.

"Oh, dreadfully sorry," Unknown said sarcastically. "Did I make the big bad tomb robber angry?"

"That's it. You're dead buster!"

"Oh, I'm so scared! The sorry, wimpy tomb robber is going to kill me. Oh, whatever shall I do!"

"That's right, punk," Bakura mumbled. "Keep talking! I'll make sure you get yours in the end."

"_H-ah ha ha ha hah!" _Unknown cackled.

"I can't believe you have the gall to be insulting me…on my own turf, I might add!"

"Hey, football players lose on their own field. Therefore, it's perfectly legal for me to heckle you in your own dominion!"

"Well, we'll see about that once I unmask you! Only a spineless coward would attack from the shadows!"

"Then why the blazes are you planning on fighting this deranged…ehem, "girl" in a **realm** of shadows, Mr. Smoke-and-Mirrors?"

Bakura was stunned as his own words were thrown back at him, hitting him like a sixteen-ton anvil. "Ouch…touché…"

Just as quickly as it had appeared, the dark mist vanished into thin air.

It was at this moment that Unknown is revealed. "Oh, snaps…!" he said angrily, wishing the shadows hadn't evaporated. (A/N: Hypocrite…)

"Aha! I should have known…!" Bakura shouted in triumph…until he noticed that Unknown's face didn't look familiar to him. "Huh…wait, just who are you, anyway?"

Yugi's ghost, Jou's head, and even Anzu-Battousai cringed at the figure before them.

"No! It can't be…!" Yugi gasped upon instantly recognizing their unknown visitor…

End Chapter Eight!

Now, I've got a game for you! I dare you to guess who "Unknown" is and put it in your review. If you get it right, I'll mention your name in my opening notes for the next chapter.

Why am I doing this? Just because I thought it was fun! (Now, let's see how many people guess wrong…heh heh…)

"Unknown" will be revealed in the next chapter. Please review. Ja ne!


	9. To Kill A Crazy Person

By Hikaru Hayashi

Hello again! I didn't realize it would take so long for me to get this up. (School is almost out! I'm so happy!)

Anyway, the results from "Who is Unknown"…

Magicman/Smokegirl: You said, "Pegasus, Ishizu, a Rare Hunter, a Duelist Kingdom eliminator, or Kaiba's evil ghost"

inuyoukai-san: You said: "Yami, Ryou, Pegasus, Kaiba, Marik, Isis, Mahado, and Rebecca". (Mahado? Rebecca! You WERE guessing just everyone, huh?)

silver-dagger-113: You said: "Yourself (heh heh…good one!), and Dartz".

And the winner is…

Well…silver-dagger-113…you were absolutely positively right on the money! You were right! It is Dartz! (Gosh, I thought NO ONE would guess!)

Anyway, here's the next chapter.

Disclaimer note: I don't own anyone/thing affiliated with Yu-Gi-Oh! I don't own the rights to the characters, cards, etc., meaning that i.e. Yami Bakura, Anzu Mazaki, and anybody still alive in this fic does not belong to me.

Chapter 9: To Kill A Crazy Person

"Unknown Revealed/Anzu-Battousai Defeated"

"Oh, snaps!" Came Unknown's reply as the shadows vanished.

Yami Bakura looked in confusion. "Hey, who are you anyway?" he said in a quizzical voice.

"I know who that is!" Yugi's ghost shouted. "It's Dartz!"

"Like heck it is," the man called Dartz replied. "I would have gotten away with driving Bakura crazy too…if it weren't for you meddling kids!"

"But, Bakura's the one who made the shadows disappear in the first place!" Yugi objected.

"Well, that's all water under the bridge," Dartz said as he brushed himself off. "In any case, Bakura, why haven't you defeated this moron yet?"

"How in bloody heck do you know my name!" Bakura shot. "I've never seen you before in my life!"

"Yes, well, long story," Dartz replied. "You've got your Millennium magic, and I've got connections in high places. So that makes us even." Dartz was stunned to be suddenly staring down the barrel of a .44.

"Don't even blink," Anzu-Battousai said. "Don't move an inch. I need to kill you."

"WHY!" Dartz whined. "I haven't done thing to you!"

"C'mon, show some mercy, Anzu," Yugi said, a bit bored of this charade. "After all, there are plenty of crows to shoot. Heck, there are plenty of criminals to shoot for that matter. But it's a sin to kill a mockingbird…"

"DARTZ AIN'T NO BLOODY MOCKINGBIRD!" Bakura shouted. "I don't know how he learned my name, but he's starting to scare me! Kill him, Anzu!"

"Please, Anzu! I beg of you!" Dartz pleaded on his hands and knees. "Spare my life; let me go free! I haven't harmed you at all…"

"That's why you stole the souls of Jounouchi Katsuya and Kaiba Seto! (Tho' I killed them anyway…)"

"Jeez, way ta stand up fer us, Anzu!" Jou's head shouted in annoyance.

"YOU KILLED JOUNOUCHI AND KAIBA!" Dartz shouted. "I thought they were your friends!"

"He-llo! I'm right here!" Jou's head called. "An' Kaiba's no friend a' mine."

"Ahh!" Dartz shrieked at the sight of Jounouchi's dismembered head. "Where's his body?"

"I don't know…" Anzu-Battousai replied, still holding the rifle at Dartz. "Maybe it disintegrated…"

"C'mon Bakura. I'm bored," Yugi whined as he floated restlessly. "Let's just fricassee Anzu and get it over with. I'd like this fight to end in this chapter."

"WHAT!" Anzu-Battousai shouted. "Yugi! I thought you were on my side! That's it. You're not my friend anymore!"

"That's fine…" Yugi said calmly. "Because, I know that…YOU'RE NOT THE REAL ANZU!" (Bum bum buuuuuuuum)

"…What?" Bakura asked, his head hung down as he suddenly felt the weight of the three Millennium items hanging from his neck. "You've confused me. This is the real Anzu, is it not?"

"Well, it is, but it isn't…"

"Okay, you've lost _me_, and I've been in this since the beginning…"

"Okay, well, all we have to do is…" Yugi looked around at Anzu-Battousai and Dartz. "Um, couldja give us a little room here! I'm trying to tell Bakura a top secret way to beat you, Anzu, and Dartz, you're not even involved, so just scram."

"Okay…" Anzu-Battousai said as she walked off and stood on a hill. Dartz stayed where he was.

"What makes you think I can't help you?" Dartz said, putting his foot down.

"Um, this doesn't really concern you, so I just figured you were in the way," Yugi said simply.

"Yeah! You heard the ghost, ponytail," Bakura snapped. "This is a January-February conversation, so March your way out of it!"

"Oh, fine then! Dartz shouted as he angrily stomped away. "Hmph…be that way…."

While in the process of stomping off like a three year old, he stepped on a mine accidentally dropped by Anzu-Battousai. He heard the beeping noise that told him he should run like the dickens. "Oh, snaps…!" he said before taking off.

He wasn't fast enough. The mine blew up under his feet.

"Oh no! Dartz!" Yugi shouted.

"Oh!" Bakura growled. "Blast it all, not again…(get it? "Blast" it? Ah, never mind)"

"Hm! Good thing I dropped that there…" Anzu-Battousai chuckled.

Dartz landed on the ground with a thud. He moaned, then he pulled himself off the ground and felt himself for injuries. "Thank Heaven…It's a miracle…" he muttered, then he threw his arms in the air and shouted loudly "I'M OKAY!"

"Oh, please…" Anzu-Battousai said as she pulled out her rockets and shot one at Dartz.

The only things visible after the rocket fire were his shoes, but his voice was heard from nowhere: "I'm still okay!"

"Oh Good Lord in Heaven…!" Bakura sighed. "Help us all! This is getting so old! We need to crush Anzu already!"

"That's what I've been saying…" Yugi sighed. He felt so ignored.

"If you don't mind standing still, Bakura…" Anzu-Battousai said, aiming her rockets at Bakura. "I need to crush you."

"Not on your life!" Bakura shouted. "We're tired of you, Anzu, so just get lost!" With this, he used his Millennium magic to trap the soul of Anzu-Battousai in the Shadow realm. What seemed like an empty shell fell over.

"No! Anzu!" Yugi cried as he ran to his fallen friend.

_Who woulda known it was that simple? _ Bakura thought. _Just trap her mind in the shadows…? Feh! Go figure…_

"Wait, so she's beaten?" Yugi asked confusedly. "All we had to do was trap her in the Shadow Realm? You mean to tell me that we lost Yami, Marik, Grandpa, Shizuka, Otogi, Honda, Kaiba, Mokuba, and Jounouchi all for NOTHING!"

"Hey! I'm still here!" Jono's head shouted in an attempt to get recognition.

Anzu opened her eyes. "Hm…? What happened? Yugi? Why are you see-through?"

"Anzu…!" Yugi gasped. It was a miracle. It was as thought the evil side of Anzu was trapped and not her entire soul. The goody-two-shoes Anzu Mazaki was back.

"So, it's back to this, eh?" Bakura asked, smiling. "Welcome back. Believe it or not, I actually missed the nice and naïve Anzu…" He helped her off of the ground and stared into her eyes with the kindest look Yami Bakura had ever given anyone.

"Wait…You're not Bakura! You're that evil Bakura! Why are you looking at me that way?"

"Come on," he said as he led her away. "I'll take you home; you've had a long night. I hope you realize that you've just killed a lot of people today…"

"But, why is Yugi see-through? And where are Honda and Jounouchi?"

"Hey! Anzu's back!" Jou's head shouted with glee. "We all missed you!"

"EEEEEEEEEEKKK!" Anzu shrieked as she jumped in Bakura's arms. "Wh-what happened to Jounouchi's body!"

"I dunno…probably disintegrated…." Bakura said, quoting the very same words Anzu-Battousai had used. He didn't seem to mind that, instead of leading Anzu away, he appeared to be carrying her.

Dartz stood up and prepared to walk away, when he heard moaning on the ground. He looked down. "Hey, Thief! The Pharaoh's awake! You told me he was dead."

"What!" Bakura said in shock, dropping Anzu. "But, Yami _is_ dead!"

"Ouch!" Anzu cried. "You just dropped me on my butt!"

Bakura and Yugi ran to Yami (well, actually, Yugi floated).

"Yami…?" Yugi said. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah, if you're alive, Pharaoh, wake up!" Bakura shouted as he kicked him.

"Ouch…" Yami moaned. "I'm sorry, Aibou…I'll kill her…I promise…"

"Huh!" Yugi said in a rather stupid tone of voice as he stared at his counterpart.

"You're going to die, Anzu…"

"What? Yami…." Anzu moaned, getting up off of the ground. "What's going on here!"

"I've got you now…Darn, I missed…where's my lead pipe…? …Oh no! I've been hit in the head! I'm going to die! Bakura! Help me!…" Yami opened his eyes. "Hm…? Bakura? Aibou? What happened? I thought I was dead."

"You were…" Bakura answered.

Yami looked up. "Bakura!" He jumped up and hugged the tomb robber. "Oh my god! It was awful! Thank goodness you're here…"

"Uh…!" Bakura moaned, confused and startled. "I'm glad you care so much about me, Yami, but—"

"Oh? You actually thought I cared?" Yami asked mockingly, pulling away. "I only did that to get **this** back, you thief!" He raised his hand. It was holding the chain to the Millennium Puzzle.

"Ah…heh, heh…" Bakura chuckled, sweat-dropping. "Oh right…eha, ha, hah…oops…"

"Oops my butt…" Yami muttered as he stood up and put the Millennium Puzzle back in its rightful place around his neck. Then he looked at his diminutive companion. "Aibou, why are you see-through?" he asked.

Yugi fell over. "Agh…Like you'd remember…"

"…Oh! I can see you clearly now! What's up, Aibou!"

Yugi stood up, confused. "Huh…" He said as he raised his hand up to pinch his face. It hurt like heck. Yugi threw his head back and shouted "I'M BAAAAAACKK! Ah, yeah!"

Anzu looked around. "Hm? Where's Honda? And Jounouchi? (Jou's head: "Yoo-hoo! I'm here!") Where's Shizuka and Otogi? Where's Mokuba? Where's Mr. Mutoh?" She looked down. "Where's Kaiba…?"

"You killed them all, Anzu!" Yami said casually. "But, no big! Aibou and I came back, the others will too. And what in blazes in Dartz doing here!"

"Oh fine…" Dartz muttered. "Bash the former evil Doom organization leader, why don't we all. I'm an easy target…"

"Dartz! Master Dartz!" came three cries from nowhere.

"Oh, not those three bumbling idiots again…" Dartz sighed. "I told them to stop calling me that…!"

"Hey, look Yami! It's Raphael and Varon and Amelda!"

"Oh yeah!" Yami said.

"Oh, snaps…" Dartz muttered as he put his hand on his forehead.

"There you are, Master Dartz!" Raphael said upon arrival. "We've been looking all over for you!"

"We've gotta get outta here!" Varon cried. "That girl Anzu went all crazy and started blowin' the place up and crap! It was horrible!"

"We have to get you to a safe place, Master Dartz!" Amelda shouted as he grabbed Dartz's arm.

"Don't you have anything better to do than follow me around! Doom is disbanded, you know. (And quit calling me "Master Dartz!")"

"I know but—" Amelda paused when he saw Anzu standing behind Dartz. He screamed. "Ahhhhh! That's her!"

"Chill, boys." Yami said. "She's normal again. You're about three-fourths of a chapter too late…"

Raphael gasped. "It's the Pharaoh! Finally I can get my revenge!"

"Oh, shut up, Raphael!" Yami shouted. "Before I really lose my temper, and you don't want that."

"Like that time you activated the Seal of Oricalchos out of pure anger? Yeah, real smart-like."

Yami growled. Then he sniffed and stomped off. "Come on, Aibou. Let's bail the heck out of this popsicle stand…"

"Coming, Yami! Oh, and I hope you feel better, Anzu!" Yugi said as he trailed off behind his counterpart.

"I think you made the Pharaoh cry…" Varon said. "How pathetic!"

"Wait…I sense something…" Amelda said.

"Are you sure? There can't be much," Bakura replied. "After all, everyone's dead—"

"Bakura!"

"Darn…" he turned around to see his counterpart looking very angry. "Um…hello, Ryou!"

"'Hello Ryou' my butt!" Ryou said as he grabbed Bakura's arm and dragged him away. "You're in big trouble this time, mister!"

"Bye, Bakura! Bye Bakura!" Anzu cried, waving like an idiot. "Thanks for being so charming!"

"Bye Anzu!" Bakura called back while being dragged away by his milder counterpart.

As the two "Bakuras" were walking off, the rest of the once deceased cast members came back.

"Ow, my head…" Honda moaned. "Hey, Jou! I found your body!"

"YAY!" Jou's head cheered.

"Aw…poor Katsuya…" Shizuka said as she picked up her brother's head. "You must have been through a lot…"

"You don't know the half of it…. Hey, Devlin. How was hell?"

"Shut up, Jounouchi…" Otogi said, obviously in a grouchy mood.

"Well, that's time I go running off in trash can armor chasing after crazy girls for a while! Are you alright, Nii-sama?" came the voice of obviously Mokuba.

"Uh…I think so…" Seto replied. "Considering that just a few hours ago we were trapped in the mansion being roasted alive…"

"KAIBA!" Anzu cried as she ran to Seto, bowling over Amelda and Varon in the process. _"Oh, Kaiba! You're okay!" _

"Hold on a sec…" Seto said as he stepped aside, letting Anzu fall to the ground. "You're going to kill me, then say you're happy I'm okay? I don't think so."

"But, I…"

"Hey, I don't think she remembers all that, Nii-sama."

Seto stared at his younger brother. "Yeah, no stuff, Mokuba. I figured."

"Hey, let me help you up, Anzu!" Otogi said in his most charming tone of voice.

Anzu smacked his hand away. "Forget it. Why don't you just continue hitting on Shizuka, why don't you! Kaiba, will you help me up?"

"Uh…sure…I guess…." Seto replied hesitantly as he helped Anzu off of the ground.

Upon being lifted off of the ground, Anzu jumped in Seto's arms. "Will you take me home, Seto?" she said sweetly.

_Oh god! She just called me "Seto"! _ Seto thought in shock. "Um…I…uh…"

Mokuba snickered. "Hah hah! Anzu's got a crush on Nii-sama!"

"But…but I thought you liked Yami…!" Seto stammered.

"I did! But he tried to kill me, so I don't like him anymore!" Anzu replied. "And besides…you're much cuter…!" With this, she kissed him on the cheek. "Did anyone ever tell you that you have beautiful blue eyes, Seto? And beautiful brown hair?"

"_Argh!" _ Seto screamed as he dropped Anzu and ran off.

"Hey…wait! Come back, Handsome!" she shouted, getting off of the ground and chasing him. "Get back here, you hunka man, Seto Kaiba!"

"U…yah…wuz the deal…she's got blue eyes and brown hair like Nii-sama…" Mokuba thought out loud. "Wuz the deal with Nii-sama's eyes…? Agh…I'm never gonna understand girls…"

Just then, Yami Bakura came back. "Hey, where's Anzu?"

"Yah…you just missed her, Bakura. She just went chasing after my brother."

"Hey, check that out Bakura!" Ryou said, patting his yami on the back. "She fancies Kaiba! How's that for you?"

"_Nooooooooooooooooooo!" _ Bakura whined. "**I'm** the one who rescued her from Battousai Anzu! And she's gonna run after **Kaiba!** Some gratitude!"

"Hey, you can't win 'em all, Bakura," Yami said walking up behind them. "You gotta lose sometime. Trust me. I learned that lesson the hard way." With this, he threw a dirty look at Raphael, who's back was turned so he didn't see it.

"At least things are back to normal…" Yugi said cheerfully. "Well…for the most part…(how could you, Anzu? I thought you liked **me**! And where's my Grandpa!)"

It's true, things were back to normal, for the most part. With Anzu-Battousai destroyed, everyone back to themselves again (for the most part), and with Jou getting his body back, and Yugi finding his grandfather hiding in the basement of the Kame Game Shop (which, by the way, was all that was left of it) everything was back to normal…but for how long…?

The End?

Yeah…I know…ending implies a sequel…and there will be, sort of! And it will probably be longer than 9 chapters. 9 just seems to be my number, huh? (_"Point of View"_ has nine chaps…go figure).

I thought everything was kinda rushed in this chapter, but oh well.

But, the silly part, who woulda known it was that easy!

Yeah, there's gonna be a sequel of sorts. It's only a "sequel" because AZB (Anzu-Battousai) comes back, but…oh! Too many spoilers! (Oh, I despise spoilers with a passion…)

Anywho, I don't know what yer gonna think, this is a very long chapter for this fic, is it not?

Just review and tell me what you thought. Until next story (gosh, I never thought I would finish this! I've been on and off with this story). And thanks to Magicman/Smokegirl and silver-dagger-113, and anyone else who has reviewed this story from the beginning. I enjoy the reviews and I'm so glad that you've enjoyed this crazy story. Ja ne!


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